Dear, Grandad…

It’s your birthday this month, and for whatever reason I’ve been thinking about you a lot recently. I had an odd thought today, I’m no longer a Grandson…

When you died I had never lost someone so close to me before. It hurt a lot. I felt real sorrow for the first time in my life.

You were such an important part of my childhood. All my fondest memories have you in them. Endless summers in Leeds, going to museums, building a pond, playing cricket (I’ve still got the home-made bat you made), walking along the Leeds & Liverpool canal, shopping with Grandma and of course, the daily trip up to the bookies!

I’m fairly certain I never said I love you. Or if I did I was too young to understand what it meant. I’m sorry about that, because I really do.

You were taken from us quite suddenly, but not too quickly for me to call your hospital bedside telephone. I’m really sorry I didn’t, I wish I’d called and wished you well. I’ve never been confident talking on the phone. It’ll be something I regret forever. I told Grandma how I felt about that, hopefully she’s passed on the message to you.

I honestly don’t know why I’m writing this. I suppose I just need to get it all out in the only way I really know how to. I remember helping you (several times) to ‘get online’ – so I hope you’re logged in up there, surfing away, and reading this.

We never got to chat about my hobby of Urban Exploring, I wish we had because I know you’d have enjoyed hearing about some of the fascinating places I’ve been and looking at the photos.

I’m married now. But I’m sure you know that. Hailey has made me very happy, I know you liked her and you made her feel very welcome when we came to stay. She’s done a tattoo to remind me of you, it’s not completely finished yet. I don’t know if you ever approved of my tattoos? I hope so. I’ve also got a design in mind for Grandmas tattoo. I think she’d like it.

I’d never seen Grandma look so lost as she was without you. She looked completely different without your arm to hold on to. I really hate that you’re not here any more and that if I ever have children they wont be able to meet you and love you like I did, but more than anything, I’m happy that you and Grandma are together again. That’s the most important thing.

Thanks for everything,

Adam